How to write a eulogy?
When preparing for a funeral or celebration of life, it is essential to allow a window of time for the eulogy. It is one of the most significant elements of the ceremony.
If you've been given this important task, you'll probably want some advice on how to get started.
What is a eulogy?
The eulogy is a text that is read during the funeral ceremony or during a celebration of life. It is a time to say a final goodbye to your loved one and to honor the life they lived. It is also a time to express how much that person touched our lives and what they meant to us.
Who delivers the eulogy?
Normally, a member of the immediate family or a close friend delivers the eulogy.
When the family of the deceased asks you to prepare a speech in his or her honor, it is because they have confidence in you and believe that you will be able to pay tribute.
If you are unable to read your eulogy on the day of the service because of emotions, another loved one or the funeral officiant can help you do so. The people in the room know that this is a very emotional time; no one will hold it against you.
If you are a member of the deceased's extended family and would like to give a funeral speech, ask the family's permission a few days before. It is important to respect their wishes during this difficult time. They may also want to read your speech before allowing you to deliver it.
The 5 elements to include in your funeral speech
If you are given this task, you may feel a little overwhelmed, especially during a time of grief.
First, you should know that a eulogy normally lasts between 5 to 10 minutes orally and is approximately 750 to 1000 words in writing.
Next are the 5 elements that are usually part of a eulogy.
Introduce yourself
Remember that you probably won't know everyone in the room. So the first part of your tribute is fairly simple: begin by introducing yourself and your relationship to the deceased.
Talk about the life of the deceased
This second part is a bit like a biography. Talk about the family life of the deceased:
- Was he part of a big family?
- Were her children her greatest pride?
- What was his job?
- What made him happy in life?
- Did he have any passions?
- Did he have grandchildren?
You can mention a few accomplishments that make you particularly proud of this person.
Mention the character traits that everyone will remember. What made this person likeable?
Think of anecdotes
In order to energize and personalize your text, tell a few anecdotes that reflect the qualities mentioned. You can also talk about what the person has taught you and what he or she has contributed to your life.
You can even include a little humor, as long as your approach is loving and tasteful.
Talk about the death
You can use this opportunity to talk to people in the room about the end of life and the death of the deceased. Be honest; don't be afraid to share how difficult the loss of your loved one is.
A comforting conclusion
Offer loved ones a comforting conclusion with an inspirational quote, a song your loved one was particularly fond of, a poem or a prayer according to your beliefs.
The Eulogy: The Writing Process
Now that you know what your eulogy should contain, you need to start writing it. In writing, just starting to write is often the most difficult step.
Here are some suggestions on how to do it.
Put your ideas on paper
Start by simply putting your ideas on paper. You don't even have to form complete sentences. You can write down words that remind you of your loved one.
You can also write down expressions that the deceased often used or quotes or poems that inspire you.
It's not about getting it right the first time; it's just about getting the blank page out of the way and writing.
When turning these words into sentences, remember to use short, simple sentences that will be easy to read even if you are emotional.
Ask for help from your loved ones
Even though this is your eulogy, you are not alone in your grief. You can ask for help from your loved ones.
In fact, this essay can provide a good excuse to reflect privately with family members. Use this time to reminisce about your loved one. Look at family photos and videos, tell yourself stories. In addition to inspiring you, this may help you in your healing process.
Practice for funerals
When you have finished writing, practice reading the eulogy in front of your loved ones. What do they think of your text?
Remember to breathe and speak slowly.
At the funeral, we recommend that you print your entire text so that someone else can finish it for you if you are unable to do so.
A funeral worthy of the memory of the deceased
Are you also planning the funeral? We’d like to let you know that we’ve partnered with , a life celebration service that will help you create a ceremony worthy of your loved one’s memory.
The 4-Celebrations team can direct you to the right resources during this difficult time. Our consultation service is available to you.