When a loved one leaves us, we feel the need to say a final goodbye by marking their departure.
When you are grieving, it is important to fill the void with love and fond memories of your loved one. A ceremony surrounded by those we love acts as a balm in this painful moment. No matter what type of event is chosen, the goal is to allow everyone to move through the stages of grief and remember that person.
We offer this guide to help you say goodbye to your loved one and to help you care for the bereaved.
Caring for the bereaved
Sometimes it is difficult to find the right words to bring comfort to a grieving person. The important thing is to make yourself available by taking concrete action.
Don't ask if you can help; just do it. A cooked meal, a load of laundry, a trip to the park with the kids to give her a break, etc.
Support your loved one through their grief over the coming months with the monthly subscription offered by La main sur les fleurs. Curated to reflect the seasons, these monthly bouquets will add a touch of beauty to your loved one’s daily life. It’s a beautiful way to remind them that you’re thinking of them.
Mark the passing of a loved one by remembering their life
The idea is to do something in memory of the person who was important in your life. This can be done during the ceremony or funeral, or in an intimate way, alone or with a few friends.
Don't hesitate to ask people who knew the deceased well to share their memories of him or her with you. This will help you find things to say goodbye to as you reflect on your loved one's life.
Goodbye rituals
Preparing a ritual to say goodbye to a loved one will help you to better experience this change in your life. There are many ways to do this. Here are some ideas:
- Alone or with a few friends, take out the photos of the deceased and remember the good times of his life.
- Go to a place he loved or go to his favorite activity.
- Write a farewell letter to the deceased. Tell him or her what you feel like; your memories, your feelings, your vision of the future.
- Plant a new tree in your yard in honor of that person you will miss. You can connect with the tree when you miss her.
- Create a memory box with a few photos and objects that represent the person who left you. You can also put your letter in the box.
7 simple ideas to honor your loved one
Here are some ideas to help you personalize a celebration or funeral.
- A dress code: this may simply be the deceased's favorite color, or it may be a style of dress that reminds you of that person. It could be a wacky hat, polka dots or a Hawaiian style shirt, etc.
- Serve the deceased's favorite meal or snacks (mom's delicious spaghetti sauce, or a macaroon bar for a pastry lover).
- Ask guests to make a donation to a charity that was close to their loved one's heart
- A flight of balloons to which guests have attached a note recounting their favorite memory of the deceased (those who wish can share them aloud before letting them fly).
- A toast: the deceased's favorite cocktail will be provided to all guests and a toast will be made in their honor
- Give guests a commemorative item (e.g., a golf ball or engraved glass or a copy of a favorite book)
- Ask the family to actively participate in the ceremony (reading a poem, playing the piano, singing, etc.)
- Decorate the room with your favorite flowers (artisans from our partner La main sur les fleurs can create a personalized masterpiece to say goodbye to your loved one with class and dignity).
Organize a celebration for a last goodbye
You find yourself planning an event while you are going through a difficult time. This process doesn't have to be a burden. In fact, planning a personalized celebration can even give you a chance to collect yourself and take time to remember that person while taking a break from your daily routine.
Here are some celebration options to help you with your event.
Personalize a traditional ceremony
More traditional funerals often take place in a funeral home or church. The event begins with a visitation period where people can offer their condolences to the bereaved family. This is followed by a funeral ceremony, burial and sometimes a wake.
It is possible to integrate personalized elements to the traditional ceremony while opting for a more classical or religious procedure if this was the wish of the deceased.
Our partner, Fsev, offers services that allow you to combine personalized options with more traditional and spiritual funeral arrangements.
Death of a loved one: the celebration of life
Would you prefer to organize a unique event? A celebration of life is the right choice for you. While a funeral typically takes place a few days after the death, a celebration of life is more flexible. It can be held on the anniversary of the death or even before the death.
Instead, surround yourself with people you love and take time to remember what made your loved one so special and engaging. If your loved one loved the outdoors, you can organize an outdoor event, or a dance party for someone who loved to party. You can then put your ideas on paper to orchestrate an event that will make you smile and say "wow, he/she would have loved it!"
Obviously, such an event requires a lot of preparation. We therefore suggest that you deal with a company that will offer you support and accompany you throughout the process. Our partner Muna Celebration of Life offers several packages tailored to this type of celebration.
There are few things in life that compare to the loss of a loved one. It is as if a part of us has gone with that person who was so precious to us. Giving a goodbye ceremony worthy of the love we feel for our loved one is an important step in the healing process.